The search for a lamp shade suitable for a small front room, plus the inside track on exposing brickwork indoors

My father refuses to go into respite care, and I'm worried about the strain it's putting on my mother

I'm really worried about my mother, 75, who is my father's carer (he's 78). She is exhausted and desperate for a break, but he refuses to go into respite care. He can't look after himself and relies on her. (He and I have always had a difficult relationship.) They have a cleaner and a gardener, and I do all their shopping, some cooking and any other odd jobs (I'm an only child). Last year, I asked for help from their GP, who told Dad that Mum needed a holiday. Dad agreed until the GP left and then changed his mind. His social worker was also unsuccessful (he refused to go to a day club to give Mum a day off a week). The only time Mum has had a break was when she went into hospital two years ago. But if he refuses to go into respite and it's not safe to leave him on his own, what can we do? Anonymous, via email

Don't know where to store all those random bits of information you scribble on Post-its, then lose? Oliver Burkeman has the answer

The latest innovation from the friendly, by which I mean terrifyingly Orwellian, folks at amazon.com is Kindle Popular Highlights: as the name suggests, it lets you see which passages of books have been most highlighted by Kindle e-reader users. (Every time you use the built-in highlighting function, the device silently informs Amazon. Not sinister at all.) It's an intriguing snapshot of the quotations Kindle users save for future reference, and while I don't seem to share their tastes – at the time of writing, seven of the top 10 entries are from Dan Brown or the cheesily sermonising Christian bestseller The Shack – I do share the underlying urge. I highlight books compulsively, bookmark websites, tear out magazine articles and scribble quotes on Post-its, with the vague idea they'll be inspiring or useful at some future point. Then I reshelve the books, forget about the websites and mislay the Post-its.